Arousal is different for everyone — more different than you might think.

Maybe you're an eye contact person, or you shiver when someone says your name just right. You might love being teased or busting out that fancy dildo whenever you get the chance. 

Sexual turn-ons are just as unique as you are — and we're here for it. But if you want to try something new, or experiment with a partner to learn what they like, start checking things off this list. 

What are sexual turn-ons?

A sexual turn-on is a subtle or explicit trigger that sparks arousal. Turn-ons vary significantly between people, and while some are highly individualized, others are surprisingly common. These range from a specific type of underwear to your favorite kind of foreplay. 

Recognizing and understanding sexual triggers can help you connect with your partner — and even yourself — more deeply. Non-sexual turn-ons, on the other hand, are stimuli or actions that are arousing without directly connecting to sex. These could be anything from someone speaking with an accent to writing you a handwritten note — whatever gets your heart pounding. The point is that these turn-ons aren’t traditionally sexual. 

What turns a guy on? And what turns women on? 

While it's historically been believed that people assigned male at birth (AMAB) only find visual stimuli and physical gratification arousing, this viewpoint is evolving (as it should). AMAB people’s turn-ons are just as varied as anyone else’s. There’s no clear “thing that turns guys on” because there’s no clear thing that turns everyone on. The same goes for people assigned female at birth (AFAB) — there’s no cut-and-dry turn-on that applies to every single person. 

Some sexual triggers are a bit more universal, like intimacy, affirmation, and of course, sexual acts. It’s safe to say most people find these things arousing. But if you’re wondering if someone you like has anything specific that gets them going, the best thing to do is just ask.

15 sexual turn-ons  

Everyone has their own unique sexual turn-ons that get them in the mood, and figuring out what works for you or a partner can be a fun adventure. From subtle gestures to bold moves, here’s a list of turn-ons to try: 

1. Hair pulling 

Hair-pulling adds a touch of dominance to intimacy. A gentle tug — or even strong pulling — can be incredibly arousing, especially when it's unexpected or done outside the bedroom, and lends itself well to foreplay and teasing. Just remember that as with any BDSM-esque play that could involve pain, boundaries and consent are non-negotiable. 

2. Smelling good 

Never underestimate the power of fragrance to bring people pleasure. A sexy smell can evoke memories, emotions, and even arousal, so go ahead and spray the perfume or cologne you wore on your first date or wedding night. If you're not into wearing a scent, even just making sure you're fresh and clean can be a massive turn-on. 

3. Lingering touches 

Subtle gestures can speak volumes if you're wondering how to turn a girl on or get someone riled up. Graze a partner with slow, lingering touches throughout the day or evening. Let your fingers trace their skin to build excitement and anticipation for what's to come. You could touch their hands, back, or even lips — whatever they find sexiest. 

4. Making eye contact 

They say the eyes are the window to the soul, and research shows eye contact is proven to be arousing. Make eye contact with your partner during normal everyday activities or in the bedroom to heighten the intensity of your connection.

5. Teasing 

Teasing is an incredibly powerful turn-on that's all about building tension and desire, whether it's playful banter, straight-up roasting, or even orgasm denial. It keeps your partner guessing, and they won't be able to hold back once you give them what they want. 

6. Confidence 

High self-esteem feels good for both you and the people attracted to you. When you're confident, you radiate an aura other people gravitate toward, making you irresistible. And when you know what you want and go for it, your partner won't be able to get you to the bed fast enough.  

7. Ass smacking  

A bit of playful (or rough) spanking can be a huge source of sexual pleasure. This type of play adds a bit of kink to sex that many people find sexually exciting — and according to research from SexualAlpha, 70% of women and 61% of men are aroused by spanking during sex. This sexual turn-on will show your partner a new side of you. Just make sure you talk about it first and have a safe word in case things get rough. 

8. Partners who are into toys  

Bringing sex toys, like a vibrator, into the bedroom can be thrilling — especially when you can tell you’re both into it. Playing with toys shows a willingness to explore and a dedication to giving and receiving as much pleasure as possible. Bonus points if you try a gadget made for couples. 

9. Having to be quiet

If you've ever had a stealthy, silent quickie while guests are in the other room, you'll understand why having to keep it down is a common sexual turn-on. Not being able to moan loudly adds an extra layer of excitement to sex and can make the moment (and resulting orgasm) more intense. 

10. Wanting it 

Sexual desire is infectious. It might seem obvious, but it can be very, very sexy when your partner clearly wants you — right now. Be blunt with your partner about exactly what you want to do to them to turn them on, make them feel desired, and boost their confidence. 

11. Foreplay 

Foreplay is so much more than just a lead-up to sex. It's your chance to explore your partner's erotic desires and body before the main event. Try different types of foreplay, including dirty talk, watching porn together, and sensual massage to really heat things up. 

12. Revealing clothes 

When it comes to sex, what you wear can be just as important as what you don't. Offer your partner glimpses of their favorite body parts by wearing revealing clothes like sheer white t-shirts, lingerie, and booty shorts. Bonus points if you keep a clothing item or two on while doing the deed.

13. Sensory stimulation 

Engage your partner's senses of touch, taste, sight, smell, and hearing to turn them on. Combining a few senses can intensify pleasure. From silk sheets to a new playlist, a scented candle, and even sexual ASMR, sensory stimulation is majorly steamy. 

14. Nipple play 

The nipples are a popular erogenous zone for many people. If your partner is one of them, you could caress, gently pinch, or use ice or warm oil on their nipples to make them horny without even going below the belt. This type of erotic play provides a broad range of physical sensations and can even lead to orgasm. 

15. Anal play 

Anal play — often seen as a bit of a sexual taboo — is a pretty common turn-on. With proper communication, consent, and preparation, anal sex and prostate stimulation can be intensely erotic, and you can also explore it during foreplay with your hands and mouth. Just don't forget the lube.  

Get turned on with Quinn 

Explore your sexual turn-ons with audio erotica. Quinn, an app created by women, for the world, offers a wide range of ethical sexual content for learning more about what gets you going behind closed doors. 

To access thousands of narrated sex stories, guided masturbation sessions, and sexy playlists, download the Quinn app for iOS or Android.