No one champions consent more tirelessly than Quinn. So it might seem strange that we’d suggest a sex act with a name as seemingly nonconsensual as a “forced orgasm.”

But in BDSM, forced orgasms aren’t just consensual — they’re an amazing way to push the boundaries of pleasure, trust, and seriously sexy stimulation.

What’s a forced orgasm?

Before exploring forced orgasm, you have to understand the ins and outs of BDSM. 

The BDSM acronym packs a lot of punch: The letters stand for bondage and discipline, dominance and submission, and sadism and masochism. While physical pain often plays a big part in BDSM playtime, what’s even more common among practitioners is an exploration of power dynamics. Whether you’re on the giving or receiving end, BDSM is all about control. 

Forced orgasms fit right in. This pleasure practice involves one partner making the other orgasm in a controlled scenario, pushing them to the brink of sexual overstimulation, sometimes with the help of restraints and toys. 

The key here is — you guessed it! — consent. Both partners must agree to this intense form of play with a clear understanding of the control and power dynamics involved. Forced orgasms are all about trust and surrender, with one submissive partner allowing their body to be brought to climax, often multiple times, under the guidance of their dominant partner.

What does a forced orgasm look like?

The experience of a forced orgasm will look and feel differently from person to person. For those with penises, it might involve the use of hands, oral stimulation, or sex toys to bring about a climax, even after they’ve expressed a desire to stop (within the agreed-upon boundaries, of course).

For people with vulvas, the experience often involves continuous, relentless sexual stimulation from vibrators or other toys until they have an initial orgasm — and then pushing them to climax again and again until the pleasure almost turns to pain.

Is it different from a non-forced orgasm?

Yes, very! A traditional non-forced orgasm is all about ecstasy, with or without elements of control or submission. When you’re trying for a traditional orgasm, you and your partner may attempt to come together, or you might use your hand or sex toys to help yourself get across the finish line. 

But as a BDSM practice, forced orgasms are inherently rooted in power dynamics. While one person lets a heightened state of arousal and tension overwhelm them, their partner takes full control, orchestrating the climax on their schedule and disregarding their partner’s “pleas” to slow down.

Because your natural reaction to overstimulation might be to pull away, bondage and forced orgasms go hand in hand. It’s much easier to “torture” a partner with excessive pleasure when they’re tied up or restrained, taking away their ability to escape.

Are forced orgasms safe?

Safety in BDSM play is paramount, and this practice is no exception. When done consensually, with clear communication and within the boundaries you set as a couple, forcing orgasms can be a safe and incredibly fulfilling aspect of sexual exploration. 

That said, risks such as emotional distress or physical overstimulation do exist. Continuously checking in with your partner and respecting each other's limits keeps the experience positive and safe.

But how do you recognize a partner’s limits when part of the game is pressing on when they beg you to stop? As with most things BDSM, a safe word is a must — a term that clearly signals you’ve revoked your consent and want someone to stop. Establish a safe word with your partner before the game begins, and choose words you wouldn’t accidentally utter in the heat of the moment, like “pterodactyl” or “lemon meringue.”

Popular within BDSM, the traffic light safe word system uses “red” to indicate it’s time to stop completely, “yellow” to ask a partner to slow down or check in, and “green” to indicate that they should keep doing exactly what they’re doing to put you on the path to bliss. 

Navigating the refractory period

If you’ve ever had an orgasm, you know that going back-to-back with more isn’t always possible. The time after a climax when an individual is physiologically unable to orgasm or get aroused is called the refractory period, and understanding it will help you enjoy more success with forced orgasm play.

Everyone’s refractory period is different. For some, it may last a few minutes. For others, it could extend for hours — or even longer. Before engaging in forced orgasm scenarios, discuss each partner’s typical refractory period and how it might influence the session. Having this conversation before things heat up will help set realistic expectations and prevent frustration, discomfort, or embarrassment.

The refractory period is often more pronounced for people with penises, so don’t be upset if achieving another erection after ejaculation takes some time. Focusing on other forms of stimulation that don’t require an erection can maintain the intensity and intimacy of the session. Use this time to explore different erogenous zones and types of play that center on pleasure instead of trying to make you ejaculate.

Practices like edging may also help make the refractory period less of an obstacle. Establish a signal to tell your partner you’re about to come so they’ll know to back off. Have them wait 30 seconds before the stimulation starts back up so you can make the forced orgasm game last as long as you and your partner want.

5 tips for exploring forced orgasms

Curious to experience a forced orgasm firsthand? These tips will ensure you both have a mind-numbingly good time:

1. Know your body (and your partner’s)

A little self-exploration goes a long way toward understanding what brings you pleasure and where your limits lie. Masturbation is a powerful tool for self-discovery, allowing you to better communicate your likes and dislikes to your partner.

But mutual exploration is just as important. Engage in activities that allow you both to gather information about one another’s bodies and responses to stimuli. Try things like genital massage and stimulation with sex toys to better understand each person’s boundaries and pleasure points. 

1. Plan ahead

Before engaging in forced orgasm play, have an open discussion about what is and isn’t on the table. Set clear boundaries and expectations about the types of stimulation, duration, and intensity of play so anything “forced” is clear and consensual.

Plan for what will happen after, too. Discuss what each partner will need when the session is over to help them feel safe and cared for. 

1. Start slow

Begin with less intense forms of stimulation and gradually escalate. Bumping up the intensity in increments allows the submissive partner to get used to the sensations and the dominant partner to gauge reactions and adjust accordingly.

Throughout playtime, pause regularly to check in — either verbally or with predetermined signals — to make sure everyone is still comfortable and consenting as things intensify. 

1. Practice aftercare

The ideal sexual aftercare can vary greatly between individuals, from cuddling under a blanket to quiet time alone. For many people, physical aftercare like a warm bath or gentle back rub will help bring the overstimulated partner back down to Earth. But emotional support is just as important. The intensity of forced orgasms can evoke strong feelings, so offer support and reassurance afterward. 

Once you’re both feeling grounded, have a debriefing session to discuss what you each enjoyed and what you didn’t. Now’s the time to express any discomfort, surprises, or preferences before trying forced orgasm play again.

1. Experiment with toys

Sex toys are for anyone looking to enhance their sex life, but they’re especially central to BDSM practitioners who like a larger toolkit for exploration. The right toys for you and your partner will depend on what type of body parts you’re working with and which erogenous zones you prefer to target. 

People with vaginas may enjoy vaginal or anal penetration with a dildo or clitoral stimulation with a vibrator. Those with penises might get the most mileage from a prostate massager or masturbation sleeve. Shop around — and don’t be afraid to try new things. 

Quinn: Your partner in pleasure

Knowledge is always power, especially when it comes to BDSM. Educate yourself about safe practices through books, workshops, and credible online resources, and consider finding a local or online BDSM community where you can ask questions to a safe group of like-minded peers.

One of the best ways to educate yourself is through experience. We’ve made it easy to dabble in kink with Quinn, the audio erotica app created by women for the world. If you’re interested in edging, degradation, or bondage porn, the wide range of erotic content on Quinn is a great place to start.

To access thousands of audio stories and guided masturbation sessions, download the Quinn app for iOS or Android.