There’s a lingering stigma — however outdated — that’s conditioned many of us to believe that sex on a first date is a no-no. You may have even been told by someone from an older generation that first-date sex means you give it up too quickly, are too forward, or aren't girlfriend or boyfriend material.

Thankfully, we're all about sex positivity here at Quinn, and that includes hooking up whenever and however you want (safely, of course). If you're wondering how soon is too soon to have sex, here's how you can determine that for yourself without letting societal opinions stand in the way of your pleasure.  

Is it bad to have sex on the first date? 

The stigma behind sex on the first date or even just casual sex can weigh heavy on those in the dating world, especially since getting right down to it when you first meet someone has historically been a bit taboo.

The judgment surrounding first-date sex typically stems from outdated dating rules about how many dates before sex is appropriate. Crude sayings like, "Why buy the cow when you can get the milk for free?" may linger in your head rent-free, leading you to feel some shame for even entertaining the idea.

Luckily, times are changing, and many people consider sexual compatibility an essential part of a successful relationship. If you're one of them, why not immediately take a new partner to bed to learn about your chemistry? Sometimes, this can give you a lot of clarity early on in the relationship, but it's all about what feels suitable for you and your date. As long as you’re both on the same page, there’s nothing wrong with embracing your sexuality — so don’t feel beholden to any outdated opinions.

Ask yourself: Why are you unsure about hooking up on the first date?

Even if swiping right on the latest dating apps is your favorite pastime, you might feel hesitant about enjoying first-date sex. Here's the thing, though — there's nothing wrong with a first-date hookup or casual sex as long as it’s consensual. The only thing holding you back is you, and that may be something you’ll want to explore. 

Take a moment to think about why you did or didn’t sleep with someone on the first date in the past. Were you driving the decision, or were you letting other people’s opinions make it for you? Perhaps you were slut-shamed by friends, told it’s against your religion, or worried people would label you as “easy.”

To help you make decisions that align with your true sexual beliefs and desires, you need to ask yourself some tough questions: 

• Why am I unsure about sex early in a relationship? 

• What has shaped my views on sex? 

• How do I perceive my sexual self? 

This introspection can reveal a lot about the internal conflicts you experience about sex and help you eventually feel free and confident enough to sleep with someone on the first date — if you want to, of course.  

6 reasons to go for first-date sex  

Having sex on a first date is a profoundly personal decision. It's untraditional to some, but if you and your date both feel ready for it, there's nothing wrong with seeing how your chemistry stacks up behind closed doors. Here's a deep dive into why sex on the first date can be a fun and positive experience:   

1. It’s not as stigmatized anymore 

While society's outdated stigmas surrounding first-date sex may linger, the truth is they’re not as fierce as they once were, and more people are taking a stand against these untruths and accepting their sexual autonomy. Bottom line: Adults can make their own choices about their bodies, and recognizing this can help alleviate unnecessary shame so you can have a healthier outlook on sexual desire.   

2. It's liberating 

Having first-date sex can feel empowering. It rejects the tired, old narrative that you should wait to sleep together to meet societal expectations in favor of honoring your needs in the moment. Acting in line with your own values and desires, whatever that means, is an exciting way to celebrate your autonomy.  

3. It can lead to a healthy relationship 

While first-date sex doesn't guarantee a serious relationship, it can be the start of something meaningful. Many couples find that sexual compatibility is essential to overall relationship satisfaction, and exploring this aspect of your connection early on can save both of you from wasting time. Always approach the possibility of a relationship with open communication and discussion with your potential partner.  

4. It's fun 

Sex and orgasms have many benefits, and fun is one of them. Sex is meant to be a good experience, and enjoying this pleasure on a first date can add excitement to the start of a relationship, whether you're looking for an exclusive relationship, casual dating, or a polyamorous setup.  

5. Your date might be into it  

In most cases, it's a misconception that your date will think less of you for having first-date sex, even if it's a fling or one-night stand. Many people are open to getting it on right away if there's a mutual attraction and interest — and never forget that acting on consensual sexual desires is totally normal. Your date might love your sexual freedom, especially if you value consent and communication.  

6. It can help you communicate  

First-date sex can be a catalyst for open dialogue about your sexual fantasies, kinks, expectations, and boundaries. This early discussion can help you and your partner set a foundation of respect and honesty, which is critical for healthy sexual experiences.  

Tips for safe first-date sex   

If you're considering sex on the first night, more power to you. To make the sex the best it can be, keep these tips in mind:  

Always use protection 

One more time for the people in the back — always use protection! Safeguarding your physical and sexual health is critical, especially when you don't know someone very well. There are different types of condoms for penises, including latex and flavored varieties, as well as female condoms and dental dams to protect against sexually transmitted infections. It's also an excellent idea to have a quick talk about sexual health and history with a partner-to-be before getting down to it.   

Keep your expectations in check

First-date sex can lead to a range of outcomes, from ghosting to the start of a long-term relationship. Communicate your expectations to your date, but also prepare yourself for situations where the emotional and physical connections simply don’t align. This is a normal part of exploring new relationships, so keep an open mind and find the humor in awkward moments.

Ultimately, if you embrace unpredictability and mentally prepare for things to go in unplanned directions after intimacy, you’ll be better equipped to let loose and enjoy yourself throughout the process.  

Find what feels good with Quinn

Explore your sexuality — with or without a date — with Quinn's audio erotica. The Quinn platform, created by women for the world, offers exciting sexual stories for singles and couples across categories like bondage, edging, and praise. 

To access thousands of narrated sex stories, guided masturbation sessions, and sexy playlists, download the Quinn app for iOS or Android.