Sex
Watching porn with your partner: How to do it and why
Watching porn with your partner might seem taboo, but it can enhance intimacy and foster communication. Set the mood and try it out tonight.
By Quinn · January 30, 2024 · 6 min read
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If you've got a regular FWB or long-term partner, chances are you've got a normal sex routine. While knowing what works and how to do it efficiently can be satisfying, it can also be predictable — and some people find that a little bit boring.
When you want to spice things up without trying new positions or sex toys, watching porn with your partner is a great place to start. It's easily accessible, affordable, and of course, sexy.
Finding porn to watch as a couple can be a sensitive topic, but openly addressing it can lead to arousing discussions and super-hot sex. It's a visual aid that helps you get in the mood and learn even more about each other's sexual needs, wants, and kinks.
Whether or not it’s okay to watch porn on your own while in a relationship is up to you and your partner. Some people see porn use as infidelity, and others don’t have a problem with it.
But do couples watch porn together? Some do, and it can actually positively impact your connection. Research shows that couples who do it are happier and more sexually satisfied.
Exploring pornography together can be a fun, arousing, and satisfying activity — but how you do it matters. When you approach it together with respect, mutual consent, and enthusiasm, including viewing ethical content, it can positively impact your relationship in several ways:
Learning how to safely watch porn together can encourage you and your partner to open up to each other and discuss personal preferences and boundaries. This vulnerability can strengthen trust as you express your thoughts and feelings without judgment. Communicating your needs — from what you're comfortable viewing to how often you're comfortable viewing it — encourages honesty and transparency in other areas of your partnership.
Porn is a gateway to a diverse world of sexual scenarios, some of which you've probably never considered. Watching porn as a couple is an excellent way to think about and discuss your turn-ons, turn-offs, and what resonates with you from on the screen, including fantasies you're interested in trying out. It can help you get your feet wet before diving headfirst into scenes you've never done or toys you've never used.
Porn is a powerful aphrodisiac. It stimulates desire directly and immediately, creating a shared experience of arousal that can lead to more passionate and satisfying sex. Porn's visual and auditory stimuli are a valuable tool for the ebb and flow of many couples' sex lives, encouraging experimentation and, of course, physical connection.
When you bring anything new into your sex life with your partner, watching porn together starts with a conversation. These four methods, which underscore the importance of respectful communication and understanding, will start you off on the right foot:
Think about why you want to watch porn with your partner. What do you want to achieve? Is it exploring fantasies, adding excitement, or simply trying something new? What are you worried about? Set a straightforward, honest tone for the conversation by knowing what your feelings are first.
If you and your partner don't discuss your sex life regularly, start with a more general conversation about intimacy. Ask them how they think your sex life is going and if there's anything they'd like to change or try. This gradual approach helps create a comfortable, non-overwhelming space for both partners where the idea of watching porn together doesn’t come out of the blue.
Choose an appropriate, calm time to bring up the topic. Don't throw the idea of watching porn together at your partner when you're having sex, about to have sex, or during an emotionally charged moment. Respect your partner's comfort and readiness to engage in the conversation and allow them to respond without feeling pressure.
Ask your partner open-ended questions to understand their perspective. Be attentive to their responses and show genuine interest instead of pushing them toward a yes or a no. Instead of asking, “Why do you think we should watch porn together?” you could say, “How do you think watching porn could affect our sex life?”
Watching porn together for the first time can be exciting and scary at the same time. You don’t know how it’ll feel until you’re doing it — and that’s intimidating.
To get the most out of the experience and help your partner feel comfortable, try these four tips and tricks:
Create a relaxed and intimate atmosphere to make the experience more enjoyable. Set up a cozy space in the bedroom or living room with dim lighting and comfortable seating, or light some candles and put on some music to compliment the videos. The goal is for both of you to feel open, at ease, and turned on.
Choosing porn to consume together should be a joint decision. Think about whether you prefer to view erotica or porn and which types of porn you might explore together. Consider which themes and categories appeal to you both, and aim for ethical sexual content that focuses on real pleasure — not just the top videos on porn aggregate sites.
Watching porn together is a sensual way to connect and enjoy shared desires intentionally — so make it an event. Discuss what you're watching, including what arouses you and what makes you uncomfortable, and don't hesitate to cuddle up to your partner. Use porn as foreplay or masturbate together, but keep the focus on mutual connection and sexual intimacy rather than just the visuals.
Establish a judgment-free zone where you and your partner can share anything and everything with each other. That means being open to positive, negative, and indifferent reactions. Watching porn together can bring up intense emotions, so check in with your partner before, during, and after. It’s a good idea to create a safe word or other indicator that one of you wants to stop.
Quinn's ethical audio erotica is excellent for couples looking to explore. You’ll find diverse categories of sexual content that spark connections — and even arousal and orgasm.
Quinn is an inclusive, women-run audio erotica app so you and your partner can feel good about what you’re listening to. To enjoy thousands of narrated sex stories and guided masturbation sessions, download the Quinn app for iOS or Android.
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