What images come to mind when someone mentions tantric sex? A tangled mess of naked bodies glistening with sweat? Two lovers folding themselves into Cirque du Soleil-style sex positions?

These ideas might be accurate representations of modern tantric sexuality (also called neotantra), the modern Western world’s take on an age-old Hindu and Buddhist yogic tradition. But ancient tantric practices focus more on emotional connection and spirituality than sexual intercourse and eroticism. 

Incorporating traditional tantra into your sex life can do wonders for your physical, spiritual, and sexual health. Let’s explore tantric sex for beginners.

What’s tantric sex?

Tantra, which originated in India more than 5,000 years ago, takes its name from the Sanskrit word for “loom” or “weave.” And that’s what tantra is: a set of principles and practices designed to weave together the physical and spiritual. The goal is to create a deep and profound spiritual or energetic connection during a sensual experience. 

One common misconception is that tantra is all about sexual pleasure. But while it’s true that practices like tantric massage often include clitoral and vaginal massage, orgasm is a bonus of tantric sex, not the meaning behind it. Sensual stimulation combined with meditation, breathwork, and mindful movement makes this whole-body sexual practice truly transcendent for those who swear by it.

3 benefits of tantric sex

Tantric sex is all about harnessing the power of your sexual energy to forge a deeper connection with your partner’s body and soul — all while connecting more deeply with the inner you. And it has some serious benefits:

1. It helps you practice mindfulness

It’s hard to enjoy the pulses of a vibrator with a smartwatch buzzing on your wrist. And when a commercial interrupts that sexy podcast or a pop-up blocks the action while you’re watching porn, forget it. 

In today’s uber-connected digital world, finding true peace is more challenging than ever, making mindfulness an incredibly valuable practice. Tantric sex is all about tuning out distractions and focusing on the sensations and emotions you’re feeling, helping you exist in the present moment and tune out the rest.

2. It can make intercourse last longer  

Research suggests the deep breathing and blood-circulating poses yoga is known for may help men who suffer from premature ejaculation and erectile dysfunction. And since tantra is a yogic tradition, it makes sense that deep, mindful breathing is a fundamental part of tantric sex. 

Breathwork paired with slow, conscious movements can give practitioners of every gender more control over their arousal levels and distribute their energy throughout the body, leading to a much slower build-up to climax and an extended sexual experience. 

3. It can deepen your connection with partners

In a fast-moving world full of responsibilities and on-demand entertainment, it’s easy for distance to grow between you and your partner. But when you deprioritize orgasms and approach sex as a means to enrich your intimate bond, you’re likely to find yourselves connecting on a deeper level than you ever thought possible. 

The slow, mindful movements of tantric sex will allow you to fully enjoy each other’s physical and psychological presence, closing that emotional and physical space between you.

How to practice tantric sex

Everyone has unique sexual dreams, foreplay preferences, and favorite positions, and what you’re into today can always change. Tantric sex is no different — there’s no single right way to enjoy this practice. But we have a few basic steps that every beginner should follow to ensure they get the most out of the experience:

1. Choose a calm, safe space 

Tantric sex isn’t raucous, risky, or uncomfortable, so skip the backseat or beach in favor of a quiet, peaceful environment you can control. Set the scene with scented candles, cozy blankets, and soft, low lights to invite comfort and relaxation. If you find that tantra speaks to you, you might even want to invest in a tantric sex chair or other furniture designed for making boundary-pushing sex as comfortable as possible.

2. Practice meditation

Sit face-to-face in the lotus pose on a comfortable cushion or yoga mat. Hold each other’s hands or rest your palms on your partner’s knees to establish a physical connection. Close your eyes to block out distractions, and listen to your breath as it goes in and out. 

Feel the air entering your nose, filling your lungs, and leaving your body. If you can, sync your breathing with your partner to establish a shared rhythm for a more intimate experience. Now, visualize the flow of energy circulating between you, breathing in your partner’s energy and moving your energy toward them each time you empty your lungs. 

If you’re new to breathwork, getting the hang of these breathing techniques may take a little practice. But meditation, whether solo or shared, is a great way to unblock your sexual chakra to get your energy flowing in a healthy way.

3. Maintain strong eye contact

After warming up with meditation, remain in the lotus position with your hands intertwined. Begin eye gazing, which is the practice of staring into each other's eyes for what may feel like an uncomfortably long time. You may initially feel compelled to look away, but challenge yourself to maintain intense eye contact. Eye gazing has been shown to spark feelings of passion and intimacy even between complete strangers, and it’s a vital part of tantric sex. 

4. Make a love connection

Once you’ve grown comfortable gazing into one another’s eyes, strengthen your physical and emotional bond by holding your left hand on your heart while placing your right hand over your partner’s. Have your partner mirror this position to create a bridge of energy between your hearts.

5. Experiment with foreplay

Foreplay takes on a whole new meaning with tantric sex. Meditation, eye gazing, and the hand-on-heart pose are all forms of tantric foreplay, but you’ll want to keep this portion of the experience going for as long as possible to really deepen your connection. Here are some other foreplay ideas you can try:

• Full-body massage: Use oils to massage one another, focusing on connection, relaxation, and an appreciation of each other's bodies.

• Tantric touching: Instead of going straight for the erogenous zones, take time to touch, stroke, and caress each other everywhere to awaken all the senses and explore every inch of your partner's body.

• Mindful kissing: Engage in a long, slow, passionate kiss, being mindful of their taste and the feeling of their tongue and lips against yours.

• Energetic touching: Play with the energy between you by hovering your hand just above your partner’s body, tracing their contours without physically touching their skin.

• Yab-yum position: Have one person sit in the lotus pose and the other on their partner’s lap. Facing one another, rock back and forth, enjoying the sensation of your deep embrace. This classic tantric sex position is perfect for breathwork and mindful kissing, and you can easily adapt the pose for penetrative sex.

6. Listen to your bodies — and each other

You’re likely to try a lot of new things when engaging in tantric sex for the first time. Keep in mind that consent and comfort are critical, and tantric cuddling can be just as effective at building intimacy as intercourse.

But if you’re feeling adventurous, consider bringing in some tantric sex cards to guide your experimentation. You can also look for sex toys designed specifically for tantra, like suction vibrators for the clitoris. And if you really want to take your tantric game to the next level, explore the Kama Sutra, which may introduce you to some new sex positions while teaching you the art of achieving wellness through the quest for pleasure and love.

Practice the art of self-love

Connecting with your partner can be incredibly meaningful — but it’s just as important to find intimacy with yourself. That’s why we made Quinn, the audio erotica app created by women for the world. If you’re interested in elevating your alone time, our wide range of erotic content is a great place to start.

To access thousands of audio stories and guided masturbation, download the Quinn app for iOS or Android.