Don’t tell Grandma, but scissoring has nothing to do with the tools you’d find in a sewing kit.

While scissors may be what you call two blades connected by a tension screw, scissoring is what sex-position aficionados call the art of interlocking legs with a partner for some genital-on-genital rubbing. Unfortunately, there are a lot of myths and ambiguity surrounding this sex act, and not knowing how it works just means you're missing out on some serious pleasure.

If you want to unlock a whole new meaning to “tension screw,” it’s time to slice through the misconceptions and learn a thing or two about scissoring. 

Is scissoring a girl’s game?

Mainstream porn tries to pass scissoring off as an exclusively lesbian activity. But not everyone who has a vulva identifies as a woman — and it might surprise anyone with a penis just how inclusive the scissors sex position can be.

Still, there’s a reason people typically associate scissoring with women. It’s a great way for vulva-havers to enjoy clitoral stimulation without the use of hands, vibrators, or other sex toys.

How does scissoring work? 

If you have a vulva, you might not realize there’s a lot of erectile tissue around your labia and clitoris. You can stimulate this tissue by straddling and riding a partner — but if you learn how to scissor, you and your partner can enjoy intense stimulation simultaneously.

For this sex position, you’ll put your heads on opposite sides of the bed with your butts in the middle. You’ll each open your legs, then slide your crotches between the other’s thighs until your genitalia are touching. From there, you can rub and ride together, adjusting the angle until the pressure feels right.

Don’t count out people with penises for this act, either. The sensation of rubbing against a partner can be immensely pleasurable, no matter what kind of sex organs you have. You’ll even give your pelvic floor muscles a little workout that’s way more fun than Kegel exercises (another practice people incorrectly assume is just for women).

Tribbing versus scissoring: What’s the difference?

You’ll sometimes hear tribbing and scissoring used interchangeably, but there’s a subtle difference.

Tribbing (short for tribadism) is an umbrella term for genital-on-genital rubbing. It describes the sexual activity or motion, not the position. Scissoring, on the other hand, refers to the scissor-like position that’s just one method of facilitating tribbing.

All scissoring is tribbing, but not all tribbing is scissoring. 

12 tips and tricks for safe (and pleasurable) scissoring

Have we sold you yet? Here are 10 tips for trying scissoring out for yourself.

1. Stretch before you scissor

To avoid muscle cramps, start with some light stretching. A little warmup will enhance your flexibility and make the experience more comfortable.

2. Find your fit

There’s no one-size-fits-all approach to scissoring. Experiment with different angles and positions to find the most enjoyable fit for both partners.

3. Lubricate

You want a certain amount of friction when scissoring, but not so much that it hurts. Using a little lube will reduce friction and make the experience more enjoyable, especially for those prone to dryness or discomfort.

4. Use protection

Unless you’re exclusive with a trusted, tested partner, using condoms and dental dams will help protect you from sexually transmitted infections (STIs) — yes, even for vulva-on-vulva play. Just be aware that a dental dam may slip if the bumping and grinding get out of control.

5. Communicate with your partner

Good communication is the backbone of any healthy relationship, even if it’s just a one-night stand. Share what feels good, what doesn’t, and what boundaries you each expect the other to adhere to.

6. Explore other erogenous zones

Don't limit your pleasure to just genital contact. Be adventurous and discover what other areas bring you and your partner joy. Did you know, for example, that nerve endings in your ankles connect to the more well-known erogenous zones? You’ll have each other’s feet in your faces anyway, so there’s never been a more perfect time to dip your toes into foot fetish territory.

7. Try scissoring with clothes on

Scissoring is a type of outercourse, which means you don’t have to remove a single article of clothing to do it. You might even enjoy the extra friction you get from grinding against your partner in a pair of jeans. Bonus: If you’re fully clothed, you won’t have to worry about catching an STI.

8. Use scissoring as foreplay

Just like any other erotic position, you don’t have to commit to scissoring for the entire sex session. It’s also a great option for foreplay, operating in much the same way as a vulva massage to promote blood flow and arousal before you move on to something else.  

9. Incorporate toys

Take things up a notch with vibrators, dildos, or other sex toys for some added clitoral, penetrative, or genital stimulation. If you use vibrators, try different speeds and pressure settings to find what you like while you play.

10. Experiment with rhythms and pressures

If you’re in it for the long haul and not just using scissoring for foreplay, you might need to gradually move harder and faster to build up to orgasm. Play around with your partner to find the speed, rhythm, and pressure that feels best for both of you. 

11. Try positioning aids

Have a sex pillow or cushion on hand to support your bodies and make certain angles more comfortable and sustainable. You can play with the positioning until you find the perfect angle.

12. Take breaks

You’ll both be lying down while you scissor, but you won’t be resting — trust us. Scissoring takes a decent amount of physical effort from both partners, so take a time-out, switch positions if you or your partner gets tired, and take a beat after sex to recoup from workout (and maybe a nice shower, too).

Scissoring myths and misconceptions

We’ve already mentioned the porn-perpetuated myth that scissoring is just for lesbians is absolutely false, but the myths don’t stop there. Here are some other common misconceptions about scissoring.

Myth: All lesbians do it

Reality: This is a false generalization. Do many lesbians enjoy scissoring? Yes. Do only lesbians do it? No. Do all lesbians do it? Also no.

Myth: Scissoring isn’t real

Reality: Some people don’t even believe scissoring is real. We can tell you from experience that scissoring isn’t just real — it’s something many people enjoy and well worth your time, regardless of your gender or sexual orientation.

Myth: Scissoring isn’t real sex

Reality: At its most basic, scissoring isn’t sexual intercourse; it’s outercourse. But this is still a type of sex, and if you get creative, you can mix scissoring with penetration or oral stimulation. For example, you could scissor the thigh of someone with a penis while they penetrate your anus or vagina — both of which are sex.

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