Lovey-dovey texts? Check.  

Pet names? Ready to go. 

Dirty talk? No dice.  

Sometimes, you’re gearing up to drop a sexy line just to have your brain go blank, like writer block but in an intimate moment. Dirty talk during sex leaves many people tongue-tied, stumbling over words, resorting to tried-and-true but tired phrases or awkward laughs.   

Learning how to talk dirty without feeling like you've stepped into a cliché is an art, and your cheat sheet is below. Even if your bedroom banter has never been better, we can guarantee you'll learn something new. 

What is dirty talk?

Dirty talk is all about expressing your erotic desires, kinks, and fantasies. It's the verbal equivalent of that sizzling eye contact with your partner, the kind that says, "It's on." Or that tells your partner exactly what you’re enjoying or hoping they’ll do next. 

What dirty talk isn't is some mysterious language. While it might seem like something straight out of erotic literature or a steamy movie scene, it's useful for elevating communication in the bedroom. After all, the brain is the biggest sex organ.  

So, what's the big deal about talking dirty? Here's why everyone's into it: 

• Novelty: Dirty talk activates all the regions in your brain. Saying or hearing something new and unexpected makes your sex life feel fresh and exciting. 

• Intimacy: Dirty talk isn't always super explicit. Whispering what you feel or want to your partner during foreplay (which can begin early in the day, long before you’re in the same room) or the actual deed can bridge emotional gaps and deepen your bond. 

• Anticipation and consent: Talking about what you're about to do (or what you can't wait to do) has two perks: It's hot and keeps both partners on the same page. It's a sexy way to get a "Yes, please" or "Not tonight."

• Empowerment: Owning and being vocal about your sexual desires is empowering. Dirty talk is a fun, healthy way to express what you want and learn what you're comfortable with.   

How to start talking dirty  

Once you're sold on the idea of dirty talk, it can be challenging to know where to begin.  

First things first: Check in with yourself. Consider how you feel about dirty talk and if you genuinely want to do it. While you're at it, have a heart-to-heart with your partner to see how they feel. A little communication goes a long way, and you may find your partner isn't into the idea or that you're not as into it as you thought.  

If you decide to test out a new conversation topic, take it slow. Ease into it, relax, and don't feel pressured. Dirty talk might feel awkward, especially at first, but you'll find your rhythm with time and practice. 

Keep it light and avoid forcing it. It's supposed to be fun and comfortable, not intimidating. 

Dirty talk examples 

Ready to get explicit but not sure how? These examples will get the sexual tension rolling. Remember, these are just guidelines to tailor to your and your partner's likes, kinks, and fetishes. Learning how to talk dirty to a woman or someone with a vagina is no different than learning how to talk dirty to a man or someone with a penis, so see what feels most natural and exciting and go from there.  

Before sex 

• "I'm so horny. I've been thinking about what I want to do to you all day."

• "It makes me moan when you send me naughty photos when we're apart."

• "What do you want me to do to you tonight?"

• "I'm not wearing any panties." 

• "Whenever I think about being with you, I get wet." 

• "Do you want me to wear your favorite outfit to bed tonight?

• "Everything about you makes me hard… Do you want a preview?"

• "I'm touching myself thinking about you because I can't wait."

• "I want to explore every inch of your body with my tongue."

• "Tell me your kinkiest fantasy." 

• "You're my main course tonight, but I hope you want dessert, too." 

During sex 

• "You feel so amazing inside me."

• "Right there... That's the spot. Don't stop."

• "I love it when you touch me like that."

• "I can't get enough of your body." 

• "You're making me so wet right now."

• "You've got me so turned on I might explode."

• "I want you to dominate me." 

• “Do you like that?” 

• “I love hearing you moan. Go ahead and get louder.” 

• "You're going to make me come."

• "Scream for me — I want to hear you enjoy every moment of this." 

After sex 

• "That was an incredible orgasm."

• "I've never felt this close to anyone before."

• "You satisfy me completely."

• "How do you always make me feel so good?"

• "Can we do that again soon, please?"

• "Wow, our bodies are really in sync."

• "That was mind-blowing. What was your favorite part?"

• "I loved it when you [insert action here]."

• "I'm up for round two whenever you are." 

• "I can't wait to have you inside me again." 

How to talk dirty over text  

Sexting, the 21st-century version of the classic steamy love letter, is sending sexually explicit messages via text. It's no surprise how popular sexting has become when you consider how much time the average person spends on their phones, but you can sext via email and other messaging services, too.  

A well-timed, arousing text message can add spark to any relationship, whether you're in a long-distance relationship, in a situationship, or just looking to keep things spicy with your committed partner. The trick to successful sexting is keeping it genuine, having fun, and consensual.  

Above all, be honest. Your partner doesn’t want to hear you reading from a sexy script — they want to hear what you’re loving and why. 

Anticipate 

Start your sexting session by foreshadowing what's to come (pun intended). Set the stage so your partner's dying to know what's next, tease their imagination, compliment them, and hint at what's in store for them. Send a few sexy morning or afternoon texts as foreplay if your partner's into that.  

• "I've got a surprise for you later… Can you guess what it is? Here's a hint: We'll be naked."

• "Every time I think about what I want to do to you tonight, I get shivers."

• "I've been daydreaming about a new fantasy, and I hope you're ready." 

Describe

Use your words to paint a picture. Describe your mood, your current environment, the feel of your new underwear or sex toy, a sexual fantasy, or your favorite sexual activity. This lets your partner into your world no matter how far away they are.   

• "I'm lying in bed in the dark, thinking how much better it'd be if I could kiss you."

• "Just slipped into that lingerie you love, and I'm feeling as horny as I look."

• "I'm touching myself, thinking about how it feels to be inside you. Can't wait for tonight." 

Recall 

Take a trip down memory lane with your sexts. Reminisce about some of your hottest moments with your partner and how you'd like to recreate them. Recalling a night of pleasure is excellent for moments of writer's block when you want to send a sexy text but can't think of what to say. By calling up these memories, you're expressing appreciation and desire for regular sex with your partner, and that's hot. 

• "Remember that night on vacation? I keep thinking about how hard you made me come on the beach."

• "I was thinking about our last date night, and I'd love to have my way with you in the bathroom again."

• "I keep replaying that morning we watched the sunrise. I still can't get enough of you."  

Perfect your dirty talk with help from Quinn  

Wrapping up this dirty talk how-to guide, it's essential to touch on one more thing: Insecurity and doubt. It's totally normal to feel insecure, uncomfortable, or like you lack self-confidence when you start learning how to talk dirty. Explicit dialogue, whether in person, via text, or during phone sex, can be intimidating, especially if it's unfamiliar territory. 

But everyone starts somewhere. If you're unsure, listen to Quinn's audio erotica for insight into how others talk dirty. Quinn's playlists offer real-world examples of how to sound sexier to set the tone for your own sexual adventures. You can even listen with your partner(s) for inspiration.

Quinn is an audio erotica app created by women for the world. Home to an incredibly diverse wide range of ethical porn, there are thousands of audio stories and guided masturbation sessions waiting for you.

Download the Quinn app for iOS or Android today.